My baby and me

Well I have not posted in a while. A lot has gone on. (Brittany if you read this don't mention it to anyone even Jessie and don't text me about it joe can't know I talk about it) well I found out not too long ago my husband cheated on me. It hurts a lot.  He says he didn't physically do anything with her but I don't think I believe him. It started about two months after I had our daughter. I feel like all the time since then was a lie. I was still recovering from my c section am he was telling another girl he loved her. I honestly don't know what to do. I found out and he said he would stop and I have caught him 3 times after that. It's been a while since I have caught him and I just don't know what to do. I always feel like he is going to meet a girl or he is talking to one again. He can't give me a reason why. He just says he don't know why he did it. I still have not come to terms with it. I still am consumed by fear it will happen. I can't talk to him about it either because he gets mad because he is over me bringing it up so much. I want to get over it. I love him so much. We have been through so much  I need to find a way to cope with it.


On a good note my daughter is getting so big. She is 8 months now and she is actually crawling right now. She went through different stages. Dragging herself or flopping like a fish out of water it was all so cute. I love her so much. She makes me so happy. She said mama first but she can say dada now too. She can stand with support or holdin something. It's crazy to see how much she has learned in so little time. She is always babbling these days. She is crawling everywhere!!! She is just so big. I can't believe she is almost a year. I know I want to do her birthday at a park. The theme will be brown and pick most of the things I have for her are. I'm thinking I may get her a toddler bed for her birthday. I'm not sure what for sure yet though. Anyways that's all for today.