My husband

Ugh. I have no idea what to do. I am so upset. I have now caught him talking to the same girl 5 times! What the hell. Are we seriously not important enough to you!!! I can not believe he did this!! I just don't know what to do threatening him is apparently not good enough. He literally looked me in the eyes and lied to me with a straight face. How can he do that!? Untold him last time he was talking to her that he would lose us if I found out he was talking to her again. He still did it. Knowing that I told him I would leave him. I love him but he apparently does not love me enough to stop talking to her. How are we not important enough. Ugh!

Aubrey!! :)

I just have to brag!! My baby girl is soo big! It just happened so fast. One day she was flopping like a fish and leaning foward when she was sitting and couldn't sit up from laying down and literally the next day she was crawling around and sitting up straight and could sit up from laying down all by herself. I can not believe how big she has gotten. She has learned so much. I really didn't think I would like this stage so much. I love watching her learn how to use her body and work everything. She can also do that "come here" motion with her hand. It's adorable. I also layed her down for a nap and I turned around and she was sitting up in her bassinet playing. She just does so much now. She is always talking.

Update for us. We are thinking about moving out. I hate not having my own house to do things in. Also this is an adult house. It's not baby friendly. It's a house full of teenagers. Aubrey will be walking soon so I want her somewhere that is safe for her. I know it will be hard but joe maybe getting a raise soon. We could use tax money for furniture and Lynn (my mil) has a trailer and she apparently told joe (my husband) if we want it she will kick the people in it out. I am seriously thinking about it. I need a safer place for Aubrey. I also hate that there is inside dogs here!!! There is dog hair EVERYWHERE!!!! So I'm going to work on the budget today to see if we can work it. I hope so.

Friends.

So I recently just lost a friend. I just don't understand why. I just want people to be in my life or not be in it. I don't want Aubrey to feel like she is not good enough to have someone in her life. It's not fair to her. Me I am a big girl I can handle it she is not. I will do anything I can to keep her from being hurt. It's not fair to her. I love her and I can't see that hurt in her eyes if I can help it. She said she just lives far away and stuff like that but she has not said one word to me in 5 months. That is just talking to me whenever. It was different when it was just me. I can handle it but my baby don't understand. She is just a baby. When there is a baby you have to understand things are different. When you have a baby your life changes. I love having her. I wouldn't change anything about my life for anything. She is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. I just don't want her hurt. I hate to see those tears in her eyes it breaks my heart. So my friend didn't like what I said that to her and now she deleted me. It sucks because we have been best friends for around 5 or 6 years. So it does hurt but I say it don't. I have also lost another friend we have been best friends for around 4 years. We kind of stopped talking about a year ago then we started talking again but she just stopped talking back to me. I don't really care that she did because she has just lied wayyyy too much. So I don't have many friends left. I really only have two. One is Misty we have been best friends since we were toddlers in the kiddie pool. Lol we have went through a lot together. I am glad she is there for me whenever I need her and has been forever. My other friend is Brittany. She is my sister in law but we are friends. She is one of the couple people from my husbands family I like. Lol we may not talk a lot anymore but she is still a good friend and has been since I known her. Close it 3 years I think. I know she will not leave Aubrey's life because she is family. Lol. I may not have a lot of friend s but the couple I have are good ones. I am going to get some more because I know some people that has babies around Aubrey's age so I will hang out with them on play dates and stuff. I just don't want fake friends in my family lives. The pictures are of my family. :) we are too cute. Lol

My baby and me

Well I have not posted in a while. A lot has gone on. (Brittany if you read this don't mention it to anyone even Jessie and don't text me about it joe can't know I talk about it) well I found out not too long ago my husband cheated on me. It hurts a lot.  He says he didn't physically do anything with her but I don't think I believe him. It started about two months after I had our daughter. I feel like all the time since then was a lie. I was still recovering from my c section am he was telling another girl he loved her. I honestly don't know what to do. I found out and he said he would stop and I have caught him 3 times after that. It's been a while since I have caught him and I just don't know what to do. I always feel like he is going to meet a girl or he is talking to one again. He can't give me a reason why. He just says he don't know why he did it. I still have not come to terms with it. I still am consumed by fear it will happen. I can't talk to him about it either because he gets mad because he is over me bringing it up so much. I want to get over it. I love him so much. We have been through so much  I need to find a way to cope with it.


On a good note my daughter is getting so big. She is 8 months now and she is actually crawling right now. She went through different stages. Dragging herself or flopping like a fish out of water it was all so cute. I love her so much. She makes me so happy. She said mama first but she can say dada now too. She can stand with support or holdin something. It's crazy to see how much she has learned in so little time. She is always babbling these days. She is crawling everywhere!!! She is just so big. I can't believe she is almost a year. I know I want to do her birthday at a park. The theme will be brown and pick most of the things I have for her are. I'm thinking I may get her a toddler bed for her birthday. I'm not sure what for sure yet though. Anyways that's all for today.